My Story

I think we can all agree that not everything in life goes according to plan. I grew up in a big family, the oldest of five children. Whether or not I was going to have a family of my own was never a question. But life happened, as it does, and my career choices and lifestyle included many years travelling, living abroad and working in industries that required me to be away from home, and in environments that were not conducive to settling down. Still, I was not concerned, I knew I had lots of time to find the right partner, and build my family. I was 33 when I left a career working on boats, and experienced my first pregnancy shortly after. It was devastating that at the same moment I learned I was pregnant, I was also informed that it was a life-threatening ectopic pregnancy that required emergency surgery and the removal of my right fallopian tube. I was heartbroken by the loss and terrified that it might limit my chances of family building in the future. My relationship ended shortly after and I delayed my family plans again.

Jump ahead five years. Like many people, especially women, I began to feel the pressure that if I didn't start a family soon, I might not get the opportunity at all. However, at this time, my relationship was less than ideal and the stress and pressure to juggle school, a career change, an unhappy relationship, and starting a new family resulted in four miscarriages. The first two broke my heart, but by my third and fourth miscarriages, I just felt numb. I wanted a family more than anything but not under these conditions, while at the same time, I felt so much pressure to beat the clock, and I was uncertain if I would find the right partner before I "aged out". Feeling lost and frustrated, I switched to focusing on my career and hoped a solution would present itself, since the astronomical expenses of IVF were not an option for me at the time.

Five more years passed, at the age of 42, even though my previous medical examinations showed no health reasons that I couldn’t pursue IVF as a single woman, the expense was still out of reach for me with a single income, and now egg quality and finding the right donor sperm became added concerns and complications. But, when I decide I want something, especially this important, I don't give up easily, and I don't let outside opinions or circumstances make my life decisions for me. Being the stubborn, hard-headed woman that I am, I researched every possibility thoroughly. I explored foster care, traditional adoption, international adoption, IVF, surrogacy, and egg donation. Each alternative presented a new set of financial or bureaucratic challenges. Then one day I stumbled across an article about embryo donation. I was shocked that after all my time in clinics, fertility groups, doctors' appointments, and online research, that I had never heard of it. Since embryos can not be bought or sold, many fertility clinics, doctors and organizations who benefit from the high cost of egg donation and repeated IVF cycles don’t offer or disclose this option as an alternative to their clients. It was in that moment that I found hope again and knew that I too could build the family I deserved and dreamed of having. It gave me my power back, it gave me family back and that’s when I decided to give other people the same opportunity.